"See, the darkness is leaking from the cracks.
I cannot contain it. I cannot contain my life."
We are leaving soon.
We've shipped the last of the three balik-bayan boxes, and the guest room I have been residing in for the last two months is slowly starting to empty of our things. There are three more days left and I am staring at the end of this dream (no, no, no this was not a dream. This was real) at the face. But before we go, I am leaving behind my big, red jacket and inside each pocket is hope and a promise that soon I will get to come back.
I am not going to say good-bye.
I believe (or I'd like to believe) that during my stay here, I've changed-- improved. That somehow, even just a little bit, I've found answers to a few questions that I've had for quite some time. Coming here has lit a flame in my heart, and it has opened doors. I hold on to the promise that since I've made it here, I can make it anywhere (yes, that line is from a song). I believe.
To everyone who has asked what I want when I 'grow up', I still don't know what career I want to pursue (that is what you truly mean, right?), there are too many things to consider. But I do know what I want. I want to travel! I want to take pictures, to write, to meet new people, to fall in love, and to write some more. I want to live and be happy. I want to be happy with the people that I love. I know that these are not the answers to your questions, but they are the answers to mine.
In a span of two months, I have grown to love this place. When I'm home and overcome with the stress that I am soon expecting from school, a song will play and it will bring me back. And if only listening to a song was all it took...
This is not a good-bye. This is an I-will-see-you-soon.
Posted on: 7/17/11 4:20 AM by A →
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